Born2lbfat

My life with Lipedema & Lymphedema...destined to be fat.

Archives for April 2013

Dear Just My Size, why all the GLITTER?

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This will probably be the first of many rants about Plus Size clothing. I have learned that even my normal sized friends have clothing issues, all sizes vary, as do all bodies. Being a size 2 can be just as challenging to find a nice fitting pair of jeans as being a size 26. I get that, actually I had more clothing disappointments when I was a size 14/16 because there were so many cute shirts or pants IN MY SIZE, yet when I put them on they fit but did not flatter. It was an odd phenomenon for me because usually my “fit” philosophy was “if the clothing FIT on my body then it FIT.” There was no room for flattering because there were actually so few pieces of clothing that would even go on my 500lb body.

So one may wonder if I’m concerned with flattering clothes why am I shopping at Wal-mart? Well, there is the topic for another blog, the price and availability of Plus Size clothing. My quick answer is, if it’s cute and looks nice on me, I do not care what the label says or where it was bought.

Just My Size is one of those known plus size brands; we do not get cute names like Victoria’s Secret. Oh, they abbreviate it to JMS, but still you know it’s Just My Size. Normal sized women get to wear Legg’s Pantyhose, growing up I wore Big Mama You’re Beautiful pantyhose. I appreciate the attempt to boost my self-esteem but I really don’t need that from a pair of XXXL pantyhose.

Throughout the years JMS has been a good reliable friend. Comfortable t-shirts for under $10, and even a few nice surprises like this shirt. One of my FAVORITE shirts purchased a couple years ago: Flattering design, light material, long length, and flutter sleeves that are not tight on my lipedema affected arms.

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This year I feel my reliable friend has betrayed me with GLITTER. Why JMS? What’s with ALL THE GLITTER  Every t-shirt design has GLITTER! My personality sparkles, my smile shines. I do not need my clothing to do the same. I agree Plus Size women should not be afraid to wear bold colors and be stylish. But GLITTER? We are not toddlers. We are not Princesses (ok well I am, but then I decide when to put on my tutu and tiara and it’s not every day).  So what on earth made you think grown women want GLITTER on their t-shirts? I feel like you do not know your customers at all? I’d expect this from some company who just tosses out some plus size items on the side, but JUST MY SIZE…WE ARE WHO YOU CATER TOO? Why would you put GLITTER on our chests? It’s not cute, not flattering…and actually GLITTER IS ANNOYING because it gets everywhere!

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Do you think GLITTER designs are appropriate for Women’s clothing, regular or plus size? What’s your favorite “go to” Plus Size brand?

ObesityHelp 2013 National Conference – KEYNOTE SPEAKER: DR. ARYA M. SHARMA

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ObesityHelp 2013 National Conference – KEYNOTE SPEAKER: DR. ARYA M. SHARMA

DR. ARYA M. SHARMA

I am looking forward to the ObesityHelp 2013 National Conference this October. I have been a member of ObesityHelp.com for 10 years and this will be my 8th ObesityHelp Conference. I have learned so much through my experience with ObesityHelp, and met some AWESOME people like Melting Mama and Eggface.

I Wish I Could Bottle My Confidence

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confidence

I wish I could bottle my confidence and have Dove sell the sh!t

They say women will argue about anything, and that was evident this past week as an online battle brewed after the release of Dove’s Real Beauty Sketches video. I wanted to write about the video sooner, but I’m glad life got in the way and I waited, because the chatter and discussion that has occurred makes me wonder, why do we care so much about what other people think of our looks? Why is there so much talk about the definition of beauty when everyone has different tastes and preferences?

When I first saw the Dove video I shared it on my Facebook page and commented that my picture on the left would probably look BETTER than the one described by the stranger. I’m beautiful, I know I’m beautiful and that is all that matters…to ME. Do I think everyone thinks I’m beautiful? No, I’m not vain. I’m realistic. My features do not appeal to everyone, but I learned long ago that I can only control what I was given and trying to please or impress EVERYONE is not possible, so I focus on what makes ME feel beautiful and not worry so much about what other people think of my appearance. Especially people whose opinions mean NOTHING in my daily life.

OMG, look at her socks!

Yes. Socks. It was the first week of my Sophmore year in high school, I probably weighed 350lbs, if not 400lbs. Wearing stylish clothes was not an easy task, options were limited due to my size, and family income. However, my mom always made sure we had a few new outfits to wear back to school. This day I was proudly wearing navy slacks (securely pegged and cuffed), and a rugby type shirt with navy, green, and hot pink stripes. I loved my outfit, I thought I looked stylish. We had to order the pants through a special Plus Size catalog and I was relieved they fit! During history class I was talking with my friends and overheard “oh my god, look at her socks” and noticed the girl was pointing my direction. I thought, what’s wrong with my SOCKS? They are JCPenney socks! They are just typical white socks???  I was so proud of my outfit, yet this girl found SOMETHING she didn’t like about it and made negative comment.

At that moment I realized no matter how hard I might try to impress others there will always be someone, or something negative to be said. I was not bothered by the comment, actually the rest of the year my best friend and I had a running joke when we saw this person, my friend would say “Sarah, are your socks ok?” Really, no tears were shed over someone judging my socks.

And from the other perspective, I do not give much thought to the positive comments and compliments I receive. Why? Because people often lie just to make people feel better and I do not need boost myself up on fakeness and lies. Growing up as an obese child I heard the phrase “You have such a pretty face, it’s such a shame.” Wait? What? Was that a compliment or a put down? What’s a shame? It’s a shame that I have a pretty face? Or it’s a shame that I’m fat?

Of course not everyone who gives a compliment is lying. And I often struggle to accept compliments, and not question the intention of the person giving it. It is hard. What I am talking about it not easy, even for me. The looks I get from others do sting, being judged negatively in the workplace because of my appearance hurts beyond emotionally but financially.

I learned not to value or devalue my self worth based on what others thought about me…period. I do not think I’m beautiful, I KNOW I’m beautiful. I am confident, smart, funny, and I have pretty eyes, a bright smile, and cute dimples. Those are the FIRST things I notice when I see a picture of myself. If prompted to find negatives I could comment about the break-out on my chin and my overgrown eyebrows. It’s funny, I took this no make-up picture specifically for this blog post to show the REAL me, then I realized I was still wearing my blue contact lenses and promptly took them out and retook the pictures. The REAL natural ME.

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Saying I do not care about what others think of my appearance does not mean I do not take pride in how I look. There are also times when appearance matters, such as, work or special occasions. Self-confidence and pride in oneself allows for the inner beauty to shine through.

Self confidence is REAL beauty.

Of all the beauty posts I’ve seen in the past week, Colleen Clark comic gets it right: Our bodies do not define us.

My YWM Inaugural Convention Personal Testimonial

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ywmconvention

http://youtu.be/ZQhj_6juTNE

My thoughts on the YWM Inaugural Convention, why I chose to attend and how much I enjoyed the experience.

Join me this year in Phoenix: http://www.ywmconvention.com/ Hurry, register early to save and be entered for a chance to win a FREE three-night stay at the Arizona Grand Resort & Spa.

World’s Largest Hips: A Health Threat?

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Finally, LIPEDEMA mentioned on a national talk show! Thank you The Doctors!

For so many years I’ve seen lipedema and/or lymphedema patients on talks shows about “obesity” and the host and doctor totally ignore giant legs and hips! This doctor GETS it!

Yes, lipedema patients will still have diseases because of our weight, carrying around extra weight is hard on the body.

I love Mikel’s attitude! I want to meet her when I’m in L.A. this October!

Fat doesn’t always FLOAT! – My near death experience

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Today is the 4th Anniversary of my near drowning.  Wait is that the right word? Anniversaries are usually happy occasions, depending to whom you are married, ok well I am happy to be alive!

miami beach

The afternoon started off happy enough, it was a Friday and I took off work early to spend time with the guy I had recently started dating. It was a beautiful day to head to the beach.

For some women being seen in a swimsuit by their new man for the first time would be scary enough. For me, it wasn’t an issue. We arrive at the beach, and I notice it was really windy. I even said “wow, it’s really windy is there any warnings posted?”(Famous last words #1)  I looked up and down the beach at several nearby lifeguard stands and saw no red or yellow flags posted.

So after laying our blanket out we headed into the water. The waves were a bit rough, so we agreed not to go “too far”. We began talking about how nice the day was, how we liked the beach, he then asked me “how well can you swim?” (Famous last words #2), I replied that I was a decent swimmer but I had back up since FAT FLOATS. He then told me that I was in good hands because he used to be a junior lifeguard. (Famous last words #3)

At nearly that very moment a big wave crashed over us and knocked my sunglasses off my face. The water was so shallow and clear I could see my sunglasses in the sand below us and we both tried to pick them up. At this same time more waves were crashing over us and we soon realized we were out farther than we should be, then a huge wave hit and knocked his REAL glasses off his face. The situation turned SERIOUS within seconds.

He was taller than me and was able to get his footing in the sand; I on the other hand was being pulled out with each wave that crashed. As the waves crashed I would get close enough to almost reach his hand, but then get pulled right back out to sea.  This occurred a couple times until I realized I was in a rip current and I should not fight it. I had heard on the news how to survive a rip current and told him we needed to stop, I needed to let it take me. I was pulled out a bit farther and another wave crashed over me and pushed me under water a few seconds that felt like minutes. As I came up I told myself to catch a big breath so I could handle the “next” hit.

Just then I noticed the lifeguards on the beach with a rescue truck waving to me; they then waved their arms indicating I was out to far and needed to “come in”. You think? I immediately thought “IT’S YOUR JOB TO GET ME TO SHORE!”…realizing they didn’t know I was in distress I yelled out “HELP ME”. With that they came running. My boyfriend was still in the water, as he never gave up trying to help me. Even though he didn’t need recued, one lifeguards tended to him by making him grab a life ring and walk to shore. Another lifeguard swam out to me with a board and helped me climb on top and he paddled in the short distance to shore. As he paddled I apologized several times for getting out so far, he then replied “you’re just lucky we were here, with all the recent budget cuts we do not patrol as often.” Yes, I am!

Once on shore, the lifeguards asked me a few questions about how I felt and had me fill out an incident report. I felt tired, but ok, I had not swallowed any water that I remembered. They warned me of the signs to watch for in case I had actually swallowed water, then they showed me a “safer” area to go back in the water. I replied “oh we won’t be going back in the water today!”

We sat down on our blanket just to rest before heading to the car. The CAR! It’s was a stick shift, I couldn’t drive a stick shift and he had no GLASSES! Thankfully, he kept a spare pair of glasses in his gym bag.  Whew another disaster diverted. So we headed back to my apartment changed and went to dinner.

So much excitement for one day!

I am thankful to be alive, I have to admit with all the previous scary health issues I had encountered I was already living life to the fullest…thus taking the afternoon off to head to the beach! The incident did make me more aware of the importance to always swim near a lifeguards stand, and to stay out of the water in windy conditions, even if caution flags are not posted, AND that no matter how buoyant my bootie might be, never underestimate the power of the ocean!

parking ticket

I kept our parking receipt as a memento of the day.

In Search of a Big Girl Bed – Updated with Review!

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Thanks for visiting my blog, many people have found this review very helpful. I wrote the review because as a person with Lipedema it is difficult to find products that can accommodate my excess weight.

Original post 3/13/10 – Let’s start with a moment of silence for the innocent furniture victims whose lives I cut short: 1 recliner, 1 plastic lawn chair (honest only 1), 1 tree house step, 1 wooden dining room chair, 2 couches, 2 box springs, and 1 metal bed frame.

You know how difficult it is to find JUST a box spring??? Probably about as difficult as it is to get information from IKEA.

My current full size bed is 7 years old. My mom bought it for me after I had major surgery. At the time I had given up on bed frames and had my broken box spring and mattress on my floor. When my mom bought my current bed she bought an extra support beam. Thanks Mom!

However, it wouldn’t matter how many support beams were underneath because the beams tip over. Currently, both beams are tipped over so I am only supported by the perimeter frame…and it’s still holding up!!! But, the frame has wheels, and my floors are wooden. It’s the easily shifting frame that causes the beams to fall. I could just be turning over in bed, the wheels move, the beams fall. It’s annoying. Also, I got rid of the brass headboard two moves ago because it never stayed secure to the frame.

In the end, I decided I want/need a new bed. I don’t have a lot of $$$ for this. I want to keep the mattress so I figure just stay with full size for now and in few more years I can upgrade to a queen bed (or king…I think that discussion is still on the table).

So looking around I found IKEA has some inexpensive bed frames. I have bought several chests of drawers, office chair, and other items from IKEA and have been impressed. But a bed? I mean a chest of drawers made out of particle board and foil is one thing…but a bed?

I asked for some opinions. I Googled. Then I did what any smart person would do and I asked IKEA!

I flat out told them what I weighed and asked for the weight limit/capacity of the two beds I was interested in.

This was there reply:

Hello Sarah,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

This product does not have a published weight limit. It is a well designed product and will provide good function for which it is designed. The design, weight capacity and function of each product undergoes test to ensure the product will hold up to normal use. If the product is used for something other than the designed function, IKEA is not responsible for loss to personal injury or property.

We do hope that this information has been helpful, and we thank you for your inquiry.

Best Regards,

IKEA Customer Care Center

So can I get the weight capacity at which you test the product??? And what is “normal use”. My mind could twist that in all sorts of directions. But basically I want to know, will the bed hold my fat ass and an occasional slumber party buddy?

Today I’m going to IKEA and jumping on beds. If I get arrested for vandalism, please someone post my bail.

UPDATE

Withing minutes of posting this blog entry IKEA replied to my follow-up e-mail I sent last night asking if I could get the tested weight capacity. I think it’s just coincidence.

Hello Sarah,

Thank you for your reply. We are glad to hear from you again.

As the weight in a bed is generally not motionless an exact weight limit cannot be determined. However, for full beds the largest weight that has been placed on these beds is 440 lbs so we would not recommend exceeding that weight.

We do hope that this information has been helpful, and we thank you for your inquiry.

Best Regards,

IKEA Customer Care Center

As the weight in a bed is generally not motionless —- I’ll have to behave myself. As for the 440lbs…guess that means no slumber party buddy. =(

***Update to the Update***

I have now owned the IKEA LEIRVIK Bed frame for 3 years and I am very impressed with the quality of this bed. First, let’s start with the price $89.00 for a full size bed frame is EXCELLENT. $89.00 for any bed frame that can hold a SMO individual is unheard of, $89 for a bed that can hold TWO SMO individuals “in motion” is a super bed! Like all IKEA furniture the bed came in flat boxes that easily fit into the trunk of a two-door car, we did have to remove the headboard from it’s packaging. The key to this bed is it’s metal and comes with a steel beam center support bar. It was easy to assemble and has plenty of under bed storage space. I LOVE this bed, as I consider upgrading to a Queen size bed I think I’ll stick with the IKEA LEIRVIK. Note: I used my own mattress and box spring, the box spring makes the bed a bit high, but since I already had my own set there was no need to purchase the foundation or slats from IKEA.

I also wanted to write IKEA Customer Service to let them know, we have thoroughly “tested” their bed and it’s weight capacity exceeds 440lbs. Which again is AWESOME, we do not need any trips to the ER.

If you have a question about the Leirvik bed frame, please leave a comment and I will reply!

OAC Members Matter – The Part I Want: Advocate

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Read the article online –  The Part I Want: Advocate

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I’m a centerfold! Well close enough for me! A couple of months ago I had the honor of being asked to write an article for the new OAC Members Matter section of Your Weight Matters Magazine. Anyone who knows me in person knows I am not shy about telling my story, or any story really. However, I was unprepared for the emotional journey writing this article took me. The hardest challenge was editing down a focus, as I have been obese all my life, I have many stories to share. After talking through ideas with Kristy Kuna with OAC, we decided on the issue that really spurred my involvement with the Obesity Action Coalition: Weight Bias in the Workplace. Unfortunately, I have experienced weight bias in the workplace twice in my life, yet each time I have taken what at first was a negative experience and turned it into a positive outcome.

A subscription to Your Weight Matters Magazine is included with an OAC Membership, so I encourage you to join today!

Check out them cankles! Proud of my legs, not ashamed.

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Many women hate their legs, especially their thighs. Too wide, too saggy, too many spider veins, too white…no shorts…no swim suits. Any negative feelings I have towards my legs are not based on appearance. Only time I “hate” my legs are when they are sore and painful, or have a ragging case of cellulitis. As far as appearance, I am PROUD of my legs, they show progress, they are a symbol of a health issue I overcame and successfully maintain on a daily basis. My legs support me, and I am so much stronger because of them.

legsbefore

This picture was taken the day I was diagnosed with Lymphedema in December 2001.

legsafter

This picture was after years (at least 7 years) of MLD (Manual Lymph Drainage) and compression wrapping. Now maintained by wear daytime compression garments.