Born2lbfat

My life with Lipedema & Lymphedema...destined to be fat.

How I #LiveBold To Fight Weight Stigma

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I entered the HealthCentral #LiveBold anti-stigma photo contest.

(voting is open until August 8th! Click on the link and VOTE for me, vote daily!)

I share my story of how I #LiveBold with Lipedema and Lymphedema and overcome weight stigma.

Picture of me in the pool

The story behind this photo fits well into the anti-stigma theme, because I experienced weight stigma just before it was taken. The photo was taken during a trip to the gym to get pictures of me doing various water exercises for my FitBloggin’ Ignite Fitness presentation. As soon as I stepped into the pool this woman motioned to me and began talking to me in Spanish, I thought perhaps she recognized me from water aerobics class but when she realized I did not speak Spanish she quickly switched to English and her intentions were made clear.

“My daughter is as big as you are and she goes to this clinic and has lost fifty pounds. They don’t make her workout, they just speed up her heart to help her lose weight.”

Well that sounds safe…
Why the hell would you tell someone EXERCISING AT THE GYM about a clinic where they don’t make you exercise?
Wait…why the HELL would you approach a stranger about their weight…at the gym no less?
 

I’m not sure why I try to be nice in response to people who are so rude to me, but I tried to explain that I have Lipedema and Lymphedema and that I have a great medical team that monitors my overall health. No, she still continued. I explained that I no longer live in the area, that I was just visiting so going to a local clinic was not even an option for me. No, she still kept talking about it….I finally just walked away and continued my exercises and photo shoot.

She caught me again at the other end of the pool, she obviously noticed I was annoyed by the conversation so she attempted to suck up.

“You’re very beautiful and have a nice shape.”

Seriously? Yes, I know.

I know that I am fat AND that I am beautiful. I don’t need to be informed of either by a stranger.

I said “thank you”, but that’s not a compliment when it comes AFTER fat shaming. Her initial reaction to seeing me was to approach me about my weight, only after she saw that I was pissed off did she compliment me.

Back to the picture, my boyfriend said he wanted to get a creative picture half in and half out of the water. Upon reviewing the pictures I gave a sarcastic “thanks babe”. I joked about how “objects under the water may appear larger than actual size”, and I soon realized how very powerful the photo was and how it really captured the moment and my story. There is more to me and my story than what appears on the surface. The people who take the time to see past my surface appearance get the benefit of knowing me and my story, and in exchange I get to know them and their story.

We all have a story.

How do you #LiveBold? Share YOUR story of how you #LiveBold despite a health condition.

My First Impression of FitBloggin’ 2014

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I had this revelation on the final morning of FitBloggin’ ….

No one tried to save me, or sell themselves to me.

For those who just met me at FitBloggin’ that is a GOOD thing. A very good thing. And a rather refreshing feeling as compared to what I typically experience at least once at other conferences. This is not a negative reflection on the other conferences I attend. I very much enjoy attending and support the work of the organizations. Sadly, it’s the few attendees who are fellow weight loss surgery patients who have good intentions but cannot seem to accept that I accept myself and my weight that put a slight damper on the overall experience.

This being my first FitBloggin’ and not having interacted with many attendees prior to the weekend I wasn’t sure how I would “fit” in at FibBloggin’. I had met my roommate, Nikki from Bariatric Foodie, at a conference last year and communicated often online. This was her third FitBloggin’ so I knew I would make connections via her. I also easily made connections on my own and found a very warm and welcoming group of new friends.

There were people at various stages of their journey, various levels of fitness, and of various types of fitness and nutrition regiments. The refreshing part was the sense that despite the differences everyone was comfortable with themselves at where they were and supporting each other in making changes they wanted.

The focus was fitness and health, not weight. People were focused on achieving goals as a priority and for those who also had a goal to lose weight, they weren’t waiting for some magic number on the scale to appear in order to consider themselves successful, or to achieve what they set out to accomplish.

My Diet Mt. Dew was not referred to as contraband and I was never asked “oh can you eat that?” I never felt as if what I was doing (being myself) was “bad” and the only time I explained myself or my weight was during my Ignite Fitness presentation, which the purpose was to spread awareness about Lipedema and Lymphedema. When I got off the stage after my Ignite, my Twitter feed blew up with comments from fellow attendees, it was an awesome warm and fuzzy moment.

Even more awesome was Roni mentioning the possibility of me leading a water aerobics class next year in Denver! Of course, that requires me achieving my current goal of becoming a certified water fitness instructor, already confirmed the hotel has a pool, last but not least…I have to make sure my graduation from graduate school doesn’t occur that same weekend!

Roni Selfie

Roni Selfie

My Story in Psychology Today

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psychtoday

My story is profiled in the current issue of Psychology Today (December 2013), as part of the article Do I Make You Uncomfortable?

This is the article for which I had My Abnormal Photo Shoot. In late August, I replied to a Facebook notice shared by the Obesity Action Coalition. Being a member of the OAC has provided many opportunities to share my story, and thus spread awareness about lipedema and lymphedema.

Does my fat make you uncomfortable?

According to the article that is YOUR issue, not mine. I knew this already, but I admit I misunderstood the article concept as originally told to me: “story about the experiences of those with physical differences—and how, on both a societal and individual level, we can overcome negative or prejudiced responses.” I thought the article was going to focus on those of us on the receiving end of the negative and prejudiced responses. Through my own sessions with a psychologist, I learned I cannot change other people’s behaviors, I can only control my own reaction. To my pleasant surprise the article’s focus is on the response people have when they see a person with a physical difference. It is a refreshing change for the discussion to address why some people have such adverse reactions to ME, since it is usually just accepted that it’s normal for people to act in such ways towards people who are abnormal. And yet, it’s not normal. Not everyone who sees me has a negative or prejudiced response, if that was the case I would not have so many supportive friends. So what does prompt the negative response?

psychtodayjeff

Protective Prejudice

The theory discussed in the article is that people’s negative and prejudices reactions towards physical difference is rooted in an immune response and survival instinct protecting against disease. Interesting idea for sure! And does go along with the idea that people project their own insecurities towards me. The personal stories shared tell of instances for which we have experiences negative reactions based on our appears, mine included the now famous “check out them cankles” incident. It is inspiring that the other individual profiled in the story have the same positive attitude and outlook as I do and the hope that by sharing our stories we can help others.

Research suggesting that prejudice is a flexible trait abounds — and simply being aware that it’s not fixed can significantly reduce discriminatory behavior. Accepting that we all hold negative associates and becoming aware of the one we automatically make are also critical steps in the process of counteracting our biases. So, too, is encouraging people to talk about their negative perceptions.

My abnormal appearance is beneficial in life, it serves as a screening process. If people do not want to get to know me because of my looks, their loss. Now sure, it hurt when I experienced weight bias in the workplace but obviously that was not a company whose values align with mine.

Leave me a comment:

Have you read the full article? Share your thoughts.

Does my appearance make you uncomfortable?

Have you ever experienced a negative or prejudiced reaction to your appearance?