Born2lbfat

My life with Lipedema & Lymphedema...destined to be fat.

I see you baby…shakin’ that thang!

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And I have a lot to shake.

Tonight I registered for an 8-week Adult Modern Dance/Ballet class at the YMCA. Other than Tumbleweeds as a toddler, I’ve never been in any type of dance or gymnastics. A tiny part of me wanted to audition for show choir and musicals in high school but I never got up enough courage. I was in regular choir for a year, and helped out backstage but I’ve wanted DANCE for many years. Oh wait, I just remembered the dance segment in high school gym. Well, perhaps it’s better if we didn’t remember.

So here I go…off on another adventure. Perhaps I should video my final progress.

Surgeon General: Being Fit is Not About a Dress Size

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We have a new Surgeon General of the United States and her credibility is being questioned because of her weight??? What is wrong with people? Perhaps we need to write our BP, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels on our forheads to prove we are healthy. As she states, she struggles with her weight just as 67% of Americans do, being fit is not about a dress size.

I know a wealth of information about proper diet and nutrition, but I’m fat so I guess no one should listen to me…whatever. I can remember workplace lunches where the topic of fitness and nutrition began and the smokers and regular drinkers would try to chime in on anything I contributed. So just because their BMI is normal, they are healthier than I am??? What about the fact I too workout and don’t smoke or drink weekly. In 30 years, I’m more likely NOT to have lung cancer and/or psorosis of the liver.

I like the idea of having a real life person who struggles with her weight lead an initiave against obesity. As she said: she knows the struggles. I’m tired of being told what to eat and what not to eat by stick thin nutritionists who have never been overweight, let alone obese, or morbidly obese. Granted, many of these nutritionists were very nice, there was just something that didn’t click. Like getting semi-truck driving lessons from someone who’s only driven a compact car.

Dating website drops some weight

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By: J.A. Laraque

In this online age we all know we can find a website for just about everything. This also applies to the dating world. You have general sites like Match.com and eHarmony that cater to just about everyone, but you also have specific sites based on race, religion and yes, even size.
CNN first reported that a dating site that markets itself as an elite community for beautiful people with a “strict ban on ugly people” has axed about 5,000 members for packing on the pounds during the holiday season.
How the site works is you create a profile and it is voted on and “judged” by approved members for 48 hours. If you get enough votes you are in, but you must keep your profile updated. After the holiday season many members uploaded new photos showing “extra pudge” and in turn several members were angry feeling they no longer deserved to be on the site.
“As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld,” said Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com. “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”
The members who gained weight were flagged and sent e-mails telling them they could re-register once the added weight was gone.
“We responded to complaints by moving the newly chubby members back to the rating stage. This is the same as having them re-apply,” Greg Hodge, managing director of BeautifulPeople.com, said in a statement.
Some of the people expelled tried to re-register right away hoping others may vote them back in, but in the in only a few hundred were allowed back out of over 5,000.
“Is it elitist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be,” Hodge said when the company started out in 2005. “Is it lookist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be. Is it PC? No, it’s not, but it’s honest.”
It seems Mr. Hodge also has strong opinions about the Western cultures habit of over indulging during the holidays.
“Every year we see that some of our members from Western cultures eat and drink to excess over the holidays, and clearly their looks suffer,” he said in a statement. “The U.S.A. has been grossly over-indulging since Thanksgiving. It’s no wonder that so many members have been expelled from the network. We hope they will be back after shedding the festive pounds.”
The company said it “expelled” 1,520 users from the U.S., 832 from the U.K., 533 from Canada, 510 from Poland, 425 from Germany, 402 from Italy, 323 from France, 220 from Denmark, 176 from Turkey and 88 people from Russia. In the e-mail, it gave users suggestions for boot camps and workout facilities to get themselves back in shape.

Fat on Fat Hate

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I accept that I’m fat, but I typically don’t like the fat acceptance movement. Probably because there is a difference between being fat and healthy, and being fat and in denial.

I was in denial for many years. I KNEW I was fat, but I was trying to “hide” my fatness from others. I became very well accustomed to accomadating my size and limitations as so others didn’t notice. In 3rd grade, age 8, I planned out my 3 flight climb from the playground back to my classroom. Either be first in line or last. First meant I set the pace for the entire line, and last meant I could lag behind if needed. In middle school and high school it meant figuring out which desks I fit in and make sure I got to class in time to move the desk to my assigned spot if needed.

Throughout my life I was trying to prove that I could do anything despite my size. I was in the band, went to prom, went to college. At my jobs I would stay late, take extra shifts, and rarely ask for a break. Breaks are for lazy people. No matter how bad my feet hurt from supporting 400+ lbs, I wouldn’t let them seem me “be lazy”.

And it worked. Well sorta. I’ve heard from someone who saw me working before we became friends years later, and she told me she had never seen someone so fat move so much. Ah, success. Or perhaps not, my denial eventually caught up with me. I was fat, others knew it and others (some not all) judged me on it.

Nothing stung as bad as being fired because of my weight. When asked why my boss was forced to fire me I was told “some people equate fat with being lazy, it’s not right, but they do”. It was a temporary job so there was no fighting the decision. I loved working there, I had given many hours, many ideas, made an impact. And they broke up with me because I was fat.

From this I learned that proving myself wasn’t needed. I had tried so hard for people to like me, and many did, but not everyone and so in the end I wasted many hours that I should have spent on myself. I liked me, but I never made ME a priority. I’m not a mind changer.

Another thing that made me realize I need to stop proving to others that fat people can do normal things is the Fat on Fat hate I’ve experienced. You would think all us fat people should understand the challenges we face and support each other. Yeah, we’re no different than other groups…there are haters among us.

Here’s a couple of my fav hater moments:

I’m at the gym on a weight machine. I have my iPod on jamming to some tunes. This woman and her kids are talking to her husband who’s on another machine. The woman waves at me like she knows me, then starts to walk towards me. I’m thinking she knows me from somewhere, but I don’t recognize her. I take my headphones off and she says “Hi, are you having or did you have surgery”…o.k. “surgery” to fat people automatically means bariatric surgery, just like the “the pill” refers to birth control. Annoyed I reply, “I’ve had it”. She continues and asked me when. Seriously? I’m at the GYM, exercising. Leave me alone. But I’m nice like that I tell her 2003. She then lets me know she works for a doctor who can do a revision. Wow. Then like to make it better she tells me she’s had weight loss surgery. Yeah, no it doesn’t mean we’re WLSisters. You’re rude. Would it be o.k. to walk up to a stranger and say “oh I know a doctor who can fix your nose”. No, it wouldn’t. Now I know some people will say “oh she was just trying to help, because she herself knows how it feels to be obese and wanted to spread the saving word of surgery”. Let me repeat, we can only save ourselves, not others. Now if in the course of conversation surgery comes up and she mentions she had it and I ask her more about, blah blah blah. That’s a bit different. But for the love of pasta people, it’s never ever ok to approach a stranger on such a private matter.

The second incident happened the same week. No lie.

After I left the gym I went to the grocery store. I had used the whirlpool after working out so I wasn’t wearing my compression garments. My legs are discolored, swollen, not pretty but they are much better than they were 7 years ago so I don’t give it a second thought to show them in public. So as I’m picking up some lunchmeat this women in a store scooter passes by with her friend walking next to her, as they pass I hear the woman in the scooter say “Wow, check out them cankles” then she and her friend both laugh. Wow. Really? You’re in a scooter and yet have the nerve to make fun of my “cankles”. You know I could have had several come backs like “at least these cankles can walk this fatass around the store”, etc.

But it wasn’t worth wasting my time. She obviously makes herself feel better by putting others down. And I have the pleasure of making myself feel better by the things I’ve accomplished in my life, and knowing others may try but they will never knock me down.

Surgeon General: Being Fit is Not About a Dress Size

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We have a new Surgeon General of the United States and her credibility is being questioned because of her weight??? What is wrong with people? Perhaps we need to write our BP, cholesterol, and blood sugar levels on our forheads to prove we are healthy. As she states, she struggles with her weight just as 67% of Americans do, being fit is not about a dress size.

I know a wealth of information about proper diet and nutrition, but I’m fat so I guess no one should listen to me…whatever. I can remember workplace lunches where the topic of fitness and nutrition began and the smokers and regular drinkers would try to chime in on anything I contributed. So just because their BMI is normal, they are healthier than I am??? What about the fact I too workout and don’t smoke or drink weekly. In 30 years, I’m more likely NOT to have lung cancer and/or psorosis of the liver.

 I like the idea of having a real life person who struggles with her weight lead an initiave against obesity. As she said: she knows the struggles. I’m tired of being told what to eat and what not to eat by stick thin nutritionists who have never been overweight, let alone obese, or morbidly obese. Granted, many of these nutritionists were very nice, there was just something that didn’t click. Like getting semi-truck driving lessons from someone who’s only driven a compact car.

When the Aliens come, they will eat the fatties first – U.K. Gym warns

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By: J.A. Laraque

If you have seen the movie Zombieland you will notice the main character talks about rules for surviving. One of his rules is cardio. He states that you have to be able to run from the zombies, jumping and ducking to escape and you can’t do that if you’re out of shape.
It seems a U.K. gym has a similar idea with their new campaign. First reported on the Telegraph, one of the largest independent health clubs in the U.K. launched an advertisement which featured a green alien that read: “Advance health warning! When the aliens come, they will eat the fatties first.”
Unfortunately, the advert, meant to encourage people to make a new year’s resolution to lose weight sparked anger and outrage. Many residents said the sign was offensive to those struggling to lose weight.
Vicky Palmer contacted the health club to complain after seeing an advert similar to the sign in a local newspaper. Mrs. Palmer, who had an eating disorder as a teen, said the sign and adverts should be removed.
“I am not overweight yet I still find this extremely offensive and patronizing, but how much more so to someone genuinely overweight?” she said.
She and many others are calling for the ads to be pulled. However so far it looks as if the signs will remain. The manager at the health club, Jason Eaton said: “The alien campaign has been developed as a tongue in cheek look at the fact that people, generally, over the Christmas period do put on a little weight.
“We do not intend to cause any offence to anyone.”

Fat on Fat Hate

by 1 Comment

I accept that I’m fat, but I typically don’t like the fat acceptance movement. Probably because there is a difference between being fat and healthy, and being fat and in denial.

I was in denial for many years. I KNEW I was fat, but I was trying to “hide” my fatness from others. I became very well accustomed to accomadating my size and limitations as so others didn’t notice. In 3rd grade, age 8, I planned out my 3 flight climb from the playground back to my classroom. Either be first in line or last. First meant I set the pace for the entire line, and last meant I could lag behind if needed. In middle school and high school it meant figuring out which desks I fit in and make sure I got to class in time to move the desk to my assigned spot if needed.

Throughout my life I was trying to prove that I could do anything despite my size. I was in the band, went to prom, went to college. At my jobs I would stay late, take extra shifts, and rarely ask for a break. Breaks are for lazy people. No matter how bad my feet hurt from supporting 400+ lbs, I wouldn’t let them seem me “be lazy”.

And it worked. Well sorta. I’ve heard from someone who saw me working before we became friends years later, and she told me she had never seen someone so fat move so much. Ah, success. Or perhaps not, my denial eventually caught up with me. I was fat, others knew it and others (some not all) judged me on it.

Nothing stung as bad as being fired because of my weight. When asked why my boss was forced to fire me I was told “some people equate fat with being lazy, it’s not right, but they do”. It was a temporary job so there was no fighting the decision. I loved working there, I had given many hours, many ideas, made an impact. And they broke up with me because I was fat.

From this I learned that proving myself wasn’t needed. I had tried so hard for people to like me, and many did, but not everyone and so in the end I wasted many hours that I should have spent on myself. I liked me, but I never made ME a priority. I’m not a mind changer.

Another thing that made me realize I need to stop proving to others that fat people can do normal things is the Fat on Fat hate I’ve experienced. You would think all us fat people should understand the challenges we face and support each other. Yeah, we’re no different than other groups…there are haters among us.

Here’s a couple of my fav hater moments:

I’m at the gym on a weight machine. I have my iPod on jamming to some tunes. This woman and her kids are talking to her husband who’s on another machine. The woman waves at me like she knows me, then starts to walk towards me. I’m thinking she knows me from somewhere, but I don’t recognize her. I take my headphones off and she says “Hi, are you having or did you have surgery”…o.k. “surgery” to fat people automatically means bariatric surgery, just like the “the pill” refers to birth control. Annoyed I reply, “I’ve had it”. She continues and asked me when. Seriously? I’m at the GYM, exercising. Leave me alone. But I’m nice like that I tell her 2003. She then lets me know she works for a doctor who can do a revision. Wow. Then like to make it better she tells me she’s had weight loss surgery. Yeah, no it doesn’t mean we’re WLSisters. You’re rude. Would it be o.k. to walk up to a stranger and say “oh I know a doctor who can fix your nose”. No, it wouldn’t. Now I know some people will say “oh she was just trying to help, because she herself knows how it feels to be obese and wanted to spread the saving word of surgery”. Let me repeat, we can only save ourselves, not others. Now if in the course of conversation surgery comes up and she mentions she had it and I ask her more about, blah blah blah. That’s a bit different. But for the love of pasta people, it’s never ever ok to approach a stranger on such a private matter.

The second incident happened the same week. No lie.

After I left the gym I went to the grocery store. I had used the whirlpool after working out so I wasn’t wearing my compression garments. My legs are discolored, swollen, not pretty but they are much better than they were 7 years ago so I don’t give it a second thought to show them in public. So as I’m picking up some lunchmeat this women in a store scooter passes by with her friend walking next to her, as they pass I hear the woman in the scooter say “Wow, check out them cankles” then she and her friend both laugh. Wow. Really? You’re in a scooter and yet have the nerve to make fun of my “cankles”. You know I could have had several come backs like “at least these cankles can walk this fatass around the store”, etc.

But it wasn’t worth wasting my time. She obviously makes herself feel better by putting others down. And I have the pleasure of making myself feel better by the things I’ve accomplished in my life, and knowing others may try but they will never knock me down.

Who is this strange man?

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…posting on my blog?

You may have noticed that we’re not alone. I have given author privileges to my boyfriend. He’s fat..like me. And he’s funny, like me…well I’m funnier.

Damn, I’m fatter too.

Ah, well I’m not worried. He likes my “baby got back”, although I’m told it doesn’t rank as high compared to some of my other features, like my “pretty face”.

So I thought his added male perspective would be good and at times I might have to piggyback some of his commentary with my own.

Five ways to request a seatbelt extender

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By: J.A. Laraque

Let’s face it; if you are overweight you have to have a sense of humor. Everyday can present a challenge in one way or another and if you cannot smile or laugh it away you will go crazy. One real challenge for overweight individuals is flying. We have all seen reports from airlines about restrictions for overweight passengers. Some airlines are charging people for two seats and even denying them from flying.

For me personally I feared to fly once I got over the 350lb mark. I was scared I would not fit in the seat. I was scared I would be kicked off the plane, but most of all I feared being embarrassed in front of everyone.
When I began losing weight I believed all that fear was behind me, but when I flew to California I discovered I still had more weight to lose before it would be a good fit (pun intended) for me. While I did fit fine in the seat I still needed a seatbelt extended. The flight attendant was very nice and discrete about it which made the experience painless.
Since then I have flown a number of times and I still use an extender mainly because it is much more comfortable. With that I have come up with a few ways to ask for a seatbelt extender.
The Call-ahead reservation
You ever wonder how people get a kosher meal on an airplane, they call ahead. If you call the customer service for your airline you can request ahead of time for them to leave the extender in your seat. Now lately I have been told some airlines no longer do this, but many still do so you will need to call in and ask. This makes it the easiest because you do not have to say anything or draw attention to yourself.
The Walk by Wink and Point
This doesn’t always work, but if you have ever had someone give you the eye or stare a bit too long at you just because you are overweight you will understand. I used this to my advantage on airlines. When boarding the plane I would give the greeting flight attendant a wink and point to my stomach. Most of the time they knew exactly what I meant and they would bring an extender to my seat shortly afterwards.
WARNING: For the men out there this can be kind of dangerous because if the flight attendant is female and you wink a little too hard and point a little too low you could find yourself thrown off the plane charged with sexual harassment charges.
The Whisper Request
This works when heading toward your seat or if you have already sat down. You can whisper to the flight attendant, extender please, and that should be enough to get you one. However, this can also go wrong and the attendant can either not hear you correctly or repeat loudly what you just said. There is also a slight chance he or she might be mad you whispered in his or her ear so be careful people.
The Charade or Wrestling Belt motion
So you sat down and thought the belt would fit, but it didn’t or it’s so tight you feel your lunch contents being pushed back out. In this case you can use the whisper request, just ask normally or try this trick.
Ever watch the WWE or any other wrestling programs? When they want the title belt they will make a hand gesture of a belt near their waste. I have found this works well to signal to the flight attendant that you need an extender. Again, this doesn’t always work, but it is less likely to be mistaken for something else, unless there are wrestlers on the plane.
The captured animal
This is the least used technique I would suggest because it relies way to heavily on the flight attendants sense of compassion. I am not saying they are not smart, helpful, attentive and friendly, but we are all human beings and we all know that everyone can have a bad day at work and miss something.
Pretty much this works the same way as seeing a deer caught in a bear trap would work. You force the belt closed and squirm in pain until the flight attended sees you struggling and brings you an extender.
I personally would not recommend this, but I mention it because it happened to me once. The flight attendant saw how uncomfortable I was and brought me an extender without me asking for it. Obviously this will not always happen. Many times they are busy and will not notice or they don’t want to assume you need one out of fear of embarrassing you. So just keep this one in mind, but don’t really try it unless you are going for a laugh.
Just keep smiling
I wrote this because all these things I have done, but really if you ask for an extender 99% of the time the flight attendant will quietly bring one to you. I have even had some hide it in a pillow or blanket so nobody will see. Most people understand it is not easy to fly even when smaller in size and the flight attendants are sensitive to this. So keep a smile on your face, be polite and keep saying to yourself, it will all soon be over.

Frog legs and butt cracks.

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Note to self: Jump test.

The pretty blue Land’s End bathing suit fits, I swear it does. But my “baby got back” needs extra coverage when jumping is involved. I walked around in it just fine, but bring on the jumping in water and it’s weggie time. So next time I’ll be sure to wear a different bathing suit…I have more than one…I umm have more than five.

Next time.

Why yes, next time. This was the class I’ve been looking for, great workout, fun instructor, and did I mention great workout. Despite what the dumbass at Bally’s on 163rd Street in Miami said (which was that I could get a better workout than water aerobics, saying this in reply to my question does your club have water aerobics…the answer was no, but hey let’s diss her choice while we’re at it) water exercises are an excellent workout option for all. And according to the YMCA 45 minutes of walking in water is equivalent to 3 hours on land. It also puts less pressure on your joints. And hands down I can do more “things”, positions, stretches, crunches, in the water than I can do on land.

And as a bonus for me, unlike land excersises than can strain my lymphatic system, water exercises are beneficial for lymphedema patients. The depth of the water creates compression, and the motion of the water against my legs works like gentle massage.

No wonder I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now at the end of class.