Born2lbfat

My life with Lipedema & Lymphedema...destined to be fat.

NHBPM Day 2: My Big Caboose – Little Engine Remix

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healthblogpostday2

Day 2 of National Health Blog Post Month and today’s prompt is “The Little Engine” taken from the children’s story, The Little Engine that Could:

Write 3 lines that start with “I think I can…”

Then write 3 lines that start with “I know I can…”

I had to laugh when I thought of the train analogy and my medical condition because my caboose is a much more prominent and powerful train car in my journey. Do trains still have cabooses? For a few years during my childhood I lived near train tracks and I would always love waiting for the end of the train to come by so I could wave to “Mr. Caboose Man”. My caboose (butt) is big because of Lipedema. But that size and weight does not hold me back, instead it is the real source of my power and strength. Living with Lipedema has made me strong, resilient, resourceful, and compassionate.

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With that said…here is my Big Caboose – Little Engine Remix

I think I can be a catalyst for change.

I think I can encourage others to be their own advocates.

I think I can change society’s perception of obesity by sharing my story.

I know I can be myself.

I know I can survive.

I know I can win most battles with health insurance companies.

What do you THINK and KNOW you CAN do? What is your source of power and strength?

Kids do not need a letter to know they are fat on Halloween

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fat letter

There is a woman in North Dakota who feels it’s her duty to save obese children from themselves this Halloween. She has decided to hand out “fat letters” to children to whom she deems are obese while giving candy to the other kids. I am left to wonder if she is doing any diabetes or dental checks on the normal sized kids. After all, the reality is that candy is not “good” for anyone.

But it’s Halloween, it’s the time of year kids to get to dress up as their favorite character and go walk about the neighborhood with their friends. That is unless you are the FAT kid. Then finding a costume, especially of a favorite character, is most likely not going to happen. Definitely, NOT going to fit into a store bought costume. So maybe you’re creative and have the means to create an awesome DIY costume, which I was THAT fat kid a few times. Yes, I wanted to be an alarm clock! What kid doesn’t want to be an alarm clock? No, I wouldn’t have rather been Rainbow Brite or Jem. (of course I would have) But my sister and I were GENIUS and cut out a round piece of cardboard, put some numbers on it, and tethered it around my neck.  I was an alarm clock! Let’s go get some candy!

Trick or Treating was by far the most intense workout I got as a kid. I walked to school every day, but that roundtrip was nothing compared to the Trick or Treat challenge, cover the neighborhood in 1.5 hours. Yes, where I grew up Trick or Treat was scheduled. My friend’s mom led a small group of us around and kept us on task. We only went to houses where people were outside on their porches (wasted no time knocking on doors), we zigzagged across the street, then circled around to the next block. I really should stop and calculate the number of blocks we covered. The entire time it was “go, go, go”, we walked up steps, and up hills. And trust me, every huff n puff moment as trudged along as a clock I knew I was FAT. I didn’t need any well meaning neighbor giving me letter of notification!

But like most other things in my life, I wasn’t going to let my weight stop me from participating. I was not going to let being FAT keep me from enjoying the night out with my friends, trying to accomplish our mission of getting to every house on our route in the allotted time. Honestly, Halloween was NEVER about the candy. There was candy at home, the GOOD candy that my mom bought to pass out for Trick or Treat. If all I wanted was to stuff my face with candy, I could have sat at home and just ate what I wanted. No, Halloween like other holidays is about the experience.

Honey Boo Boo

The experience is same the reason I am excited about participating in Halloween as an adult. As a fat adult the costumes can still be a challenge, but my creativity and DIY abilities have served me well. Yes, I wanted to be Honey Boo Boo…I actually WON a costume contest as Honey Boo Boo! As for Trick or Treat, this year will be the first time in many years I will actually be at home, and live in a neighborhood where there will be Trick or Treaters. I do not have kids and I do not know many of my neighbors. I could easily turn off my porch light and stay inside.  Instead I am excited that I can participate in Halloween, and I ordered toys to pass out.  No candy. I admit I fear being seen as the “fat lady” handing out candy. I also know taste vary so much I could never possibly please all the kids with my choices. Then there are kids with food allergies.  Choking hazards, we used to buy safety suckers to give the toddlers. Also, I just LOVE toys, and I picked out some really awesome toys. I also asked my parent friends on Facebook if they would be upset if their child was given a noise maker? As you can already read I’m putting way too much thought and effort into this….just buy some candy already.

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Perhaps I’m too considerate of other people; perhaps the woman in ND should take a lesson from me. If her concern is really for the well-being of children then there are many better options she could do instead of fat shaming kids. How does a letter telling a parent their kid is fat help reduce childhood obesity? Yet she is STILL handing out candy to other kids, does their health not matter? Also health is not just physical, it is emotional too. Fat shaming kids on a day that is supposed to be FUN, is just mean and will hurt kids not help them. She could donate money to help local parks and recreation center, volunteer for local Halloween carnivals, or organize a Halloween themed fun run/walk for her community.

 

My Abnormal Photo Shoot

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selfie-abnormalphotoshoot

For me, not smiling for a picture is definitely not normal. But the real abnormality of the photo shoot was ME. I replied to a post looking for individuals with abnormal appearances for a magazine article. Due to lipedema my arms and legs are abnormally disproportional to the rest of my body. While most people try to hide or cover up the parts of their body that do not meet a certain societal level of acceptance, that is not an option for me so I choose to just be comfortable in my own skin, all 400lbs of it.

Trust me being comfortable in my own skin is much easier said than done. There is no physical comfort living with lipedema. Every inch of my arms and legs are sensitive, and the slightest touch results in bruising. In addition, the excess weight makes simple movements much more tiring.  Imagine having to do your normal daily tasks with 5lb sacks of flour attached to each arm, and a toddler clutched to each leg? Then when you need to stop and rest, people think you’re just “being lazy.” Standing for any period of time is exhausting, sitting is a bit better but gravity still affects the pooling of lymph fluid in my legs causing painful swelling, so laying down must provide the only real relief, right? Not exactly, it’s hard to be comfortable laying down because the abnormal size and shape of my hips and legs makes finding a restful position difficult.

However, rarely do I complain, because the abnormality of  lipedema has become my new normal. I have no control over the physical aspect of my disease. So I choose to make the most of what I can control, and that is the mental aspect. Which is the focus of the magazine article. Psychology Today is featuring a “story about the experiences of those with physical differences—and how, on both a societal and individual level, we can overcome negative or prejudiced responses.”

So back to the photo shoot. I realized that I had not had professional portraits taken since my high school senior pictures. I asked if there were any guidelines for what type of clothes to wear and was told nothing specific. So I did what probably few other females would do, I picked a nearly three year old dress out of my closet to wear. The dress looks nice on me and shows my arms and legs. The morning of the shoot I woke up, fixed my own hair and did my own make-up. I kept thinking how most people with bodies the size of mine hide from the camera, and when they are in a few pictures they delete any shot they think is unflattering. Here I was volunteering to have my pictures in a  national magazine and I’m wearing an old dress and doing my own hair and make-up.

The photographer arrived, moved some living room furniture around and set up his equipment. I was ready for the my close up! Then came the shocker and most difficult part of the photo shoot…I was told not to smile. WHAT? Me. Not. Smile. That’s just soooo abnormal??? And it’s even harder not to smile when you’re trying to NOT SMILE. And of course the photographer and I struck up a conversation and well since I’m so amusing, I smile and laugh a lot during conversations. I will not know which poses were selected for  until the article comes out in the November edition, but I know the real Sarah shines through as always. Although my normal persona is fun, happy Sarah, anyone who knows the real me knows my strong and confident side…and smile or no smile…I’m still Sarah.

*Update* See the final picture in My Story in Psychology Today

Tips for Effective Fat Shaming

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Before we begin today’s lesson, I feel compelled to point out that a recent study indicates that fat shaming is actually NOT effective in motivating people to lose weight.  That, in fact, shaming has the opposite effect. However, some people are set in their ways and cannot resist the urge to prophesize their knowledge to others who are “worse off”. So before you embark on such divine matters of “health”, please consider the following tips:

1. Extinguish your cigarette – Nothing is more annoying than having someone fat shame you while blowing smoke in your face. So please do not approach me about my weight, and how you can help me “get healthier” while smoking. Yes, it’s happened to me. My boyfriend and I were at the beach, enjoying a cool evening watching the waves and the people roll by on bikes and skates, when I was approached by a woman smoking.  At first I thought she was going to ask for money, so I clutched my purse closer to me. Instead she tells me how she has just finished her personal training courses and wanted to know if I would like to work out with her, she could “help” me lose weight. She “understood” how threatening the gym might be to large women, she’d make me comfortable with exercise.

Without missing a beat I reply “I’m not sure how much I’d trust health advice from someone who smokes.”

“Oh, I know, I’m trying to quit” she says as she quickly tries to extinguish her cigarette.

It’s not that her knowledge is invalid because she smokes, it’s the fact that she approached a stranger about their weight, assumed I did not already exercise, which I did and did so letting her own poor habits show.

2. Step away from the bar – Ok, in his defense he was stepping away from the bar, well stumbling away. A co-worker and I were having dinner at a steakhouse when this drunk man stumbled up to our table and muttered “You’re probably going to tell me to f*** off, but I just HAVE to tell you…PLEASE STOP EATING, you are killing yourselves. I work at a hospital and I see people like you die every day”.

He did in fact work at a hospital, or at least he was wearing a polo shirt with his name and the name of a local hospital.

My co-worker was stunned and horrified. I was ME, and replied “YES, I am going to tell you to F***OFF, you do not know us or the fact I’ve lost over 100lbs already.”

Fellow restaurant patrons were also horrified by his behavior and quickly approached him and escorted him outside. Then the manager came to the table and apologized for the man (who was a regular bar patron) and comp’d our meals. Ironic.

3. Do not interrupt my workout – Of course someone working out at the gym must be in need of unsolicited advice about how to lose weight. Right? But some people are just overly persistent or working for referral money. Either way it is annoying. As Susan Powers would say “Stop the INSANITY!” There I am, at the gym, ear buds in listening to Destiny Child’s “I’m a Survivor”, when I notice this woman waving at me. I did not recognize her as someone I know, but I take off my ear buds and say “hello”.

She steps closer, “Hi, are you considering weight loss surgery, or have you recently had it?”

SERIOUSLY?  I reply, “I’ve already had weight loss surgery.”

“When?”

“2003, I used to weigh more than 500lbs, I have Lymphedema”…trying to think what else can I say to get her to let me get back to Beyonce, Kelly and umm (oh hell anyone remember the 3rd chick from Destiny’s Child?) Michelle! Thanks Google.

She replies, “Oh I work for a doctor, have you considered revision as an option?”

I tell her that I am very involved in the WLS Community and I am well aware of the options available.  I’m too nice, I should have told her how inappropriate her approach and conversation were, despite intentions do not approach strangers about their weight.

She of course was a WLS herself, something about having WLS or losing a massive amount of weight through whatever programs makes you a SAVIOR. I must not have said enough Hail Mary’s because I never got my wing and halo. Well I got my batwings, but not my angelic wings and official orders to go out and SAVE people.

I understand the urge, really I do, I have the same feeling when I see someone I believe is suffering with Lymphedema in their legs, and having gone undiagnosed for so many years I have good instinct to think they too might be undiagnosed.

However, I’m quite sure no one is unaware they are fat? If they are unaware, that is a conversation for a family member, close friend, or doctor to have with them regarding their health. It’s not for a stranger to initiate.

If you are concerned about the health of a friend or family member here is an article about how to approach that conversation.

Hometown Advocacy: Coffee with Congressman Wenstrup

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Rep. Brad Wenstrup

Rep. Brad Wenstrup

Fresh off my return from #YWM2013 in Phoenix, AZ and my second year of advocacy training, I had the opportunity to put my skills to work at a local event held by my US Representative, Brad Wenstrup. On August 27th, Rep Wenstrup hosted a “Coffee with Your Congressman” event here in Portsmouth. I have previously communicated with Wenstrup’s staff members about HR 2415 – Treat and Reduce Obesity Act and The Lymphedema Treatment Act, but I know it’s a very special honor to be able to speak directly with my congressman. Rep. Wenstrup is a Podiatrist and was very aware and knowledgeable of lymphedema, and of course obesity is a major health issue for our area.

Again, I want to thank Rep, Wenstrup and his staff for the outreach into our community!

You can be an advocate without leaving home! Check out the links below learn more about the bills and to contact your representatives and ask them to support these two very important pieces of legislation.

Join me and visit the OAC’s Legislative Action Center to urge Congress to support the Treat and Reduce Obesity Act of 2013.

Join me and visit the Lymphedema Treatment Act Legislative Action Center to urge Congress to support the Lymphedema Treatment Act.

All EARS for #OH2013 in Anaheim

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Ready for #OH2013

Ready for #OH2013

Getting ready for more education, friends, and fun at the ObesityHelp 2013 National Conference in Anaheim, CA, October 4th & 5th.

Looking forward to hearing Dr. Ayra Sharma speak, and spending more time with my pal Eggface!

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I’m also hoping to have time to visit with my college mentor who now lives and works in California, the man truly changed and saved my life!

There is still time to join me in Anaheim! This will be my 8th ObesityHelp Event!

I like to stay active with ObesityHelp and the weight loss surgery community because I’ve met many fellow Lipedema and Lymphedema patients who have had or are considering weight loss surgery and it is great to meet others with similar experiences.

Healthcare and Social Media – Empowering Patients

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Dancing for Dollars! Support me in the Walk from Obesity!

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 No tutu until I reach my fundraising goal of $1000!

 

 

If I reach my goal of $1000 in donations by the morning of the walk, August 18th! I will WALK IN MY SWIMSUIT (and tutu).

YOU Can Still Be a Part of #YWM2013 – Join Us!

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oacsiteIt’s not too late to  be a part of Obesity Action Coalition Your Weight Matters Convention!

Registration will be available on-site August 15th. Join us for a day or the entire event.

Can’t join us in Phoenix?

No worries there will be 5 sessions  live-streamed via YouTube!

Here is the link to access all of the live-streamed educational sessions: 

http://www.ywmconvention.com/ywm2013-live-stream/  

During the Teaming-Up to Tackle Obesity event, those who can’t attend will also be able to ask questions during the Q&A using http://www.twitter.com/obesityaction and our official #YWM2013 hashtag.

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This is a great opportunity to experience OAC and get a glimpse of what the information and resources they offer.

Check out my Top 5 Reasons YOU Should Attend #YWM2013 and watch for my LIVE updates from the convention on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Lululemon cannot cover my @ss, and the sky is blue.

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yoga

 

This week another clothing retailer revealed they do not and will NOT make their clothes available in plus sizes and the media exploded in outrage. How is this new?

Did we all forget the 5-7-9 store? (I wonder what the vanity size equivalent would be.)

This is nothing new; no business can cater to everyone. It’s just not a smart business strategy.

I’m especially NOT upset that I will never be able to fit into a pair of Lululemon yoga pants, despite my affinity for yoga pants. It is obvious Lululemon is not capable of handling the quality needs of plus size women. In case you forgot they had to recall yoga pants due to sheerness. Uh, no thank you.

Making and designing Plus Size clothing is more than just taking a normal size item and making it bigger. Plus Size women have different body types, curves in different places, and different quality needs. Even among the clothing stores that do cater to Plus Sizes, there are different styles and different fits…Torrid, to Lane Bryant to Catherine’s.  All have a very different style of clothing, and I notice a different in “fit” among stores. Junonia is a company that specializes in active clothing for Plus Size women, more than just yoga pants, but swimwear and outdoors clothing.

Wait, what was that? There are stores that cater to ONLY plus size women?  How dare they not make their cute available to normal size women?  I am not being sarcastic. Years ago I worked at Lane Bryant, and we often had normal sized women walk in asking for the shirt in the window in their size, and we had to break the news that the smallest we carried was a 14. And remember that’s a Women’s size 14, not a Misses 14. The fit will be different.

What makes me angrier than retailers who refuse to offer Plus Size clothing, is the treatment often received from the retailers who proclaim to cater to our Plus Size needs. As a plus size woman I realize I am going to pay more for my clothing, I do not think it is too much to ask that those clothes meet the quality needs of plus size clientele. Underwear should withstand more than 1-2 wearing. T-shirts should have appropriate designs.  I opt to ask that Plus Size retailers do a better job at serving their clientele than demand all companies make ALL sizes. The latter is not a reasonable expectation. I’m quite sure the Tall and Petite women out there can echo this. Plus size is not the only specialty size left out by the mainstream designers.

Are we going to demand that Victoria’s Secret start selling men’s products? Oh wait.  Victoria Secret is another store that does not provide Plus Size items.

I mean really I could list an entire MALL DIRECTORY of places that do not offer plus sizes. Why is the outrage only over those who actually admit it?

I think we all need to take a deep breath.

Calm down.

And redirect our energy towards other worthier causes. I choose weight bias in healthcare and employment.